Which are you?

VICTIM SURVIVOR OR THRIVING ??

Dean talk to me about this once and said some people get stuck as just a Survivor but what you want to be is thriving.

at this point in my life I'm so happy to say that I AM THRIVING!


I"m still standing by ELTON JOHN.

".....And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now

You know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah"

So how'd it go?

So let me just tell ya about dating after divorce.......
Dating apps are STUPID! out of the handful of people I talk to, met, and or went on a date with... there was really only ONE guy that did not have any Red Flags. Also after doing a dating app for about a year I have decide I will never let me kids do that. I know it works for some people but it didn't for me.

I went on a couple dates with a guy in the military and he had also been divorced. Did you know you can look up stuff on public record? Well lets just say his public divorce record was concerning.
I dated others who all had very concerning red flags and it reminded me that I deserve better. You deserve better and it does exist!!! So hang in there and as Dean would say "Just because I've been on 5 dates that doesn't make me yours."

Can we just talk for a minute on how amazing Deans Jerk Magnet/ Red Flags lessons were, just spot  on! If I didn't practice seeing red flags in others and myself where would I be? maybe in a toxic relationship. where would my girls be?
This was one of the top lessons I learned! I want to share that lesson with all people who need it!!

I am a catch!

YOU ARE ENOUGH 

Did you know what you say to yourself you will believe? so make a list like I did and add to it often.

here is your homework .... Think and write all qualities and characteristics that say YOU are a CATCH. It can be Physical, Spiritual, or Emotional.

Here is mine.

Eyes

Body

Smiley

Friendly

Kind

Optimistic

Extrovert

Healthy

Energetic

Talkative /Storyteller

Good with kids

Good mom

Read

Pray

Belileve

Strong

Determined

Comitted

Hard Worker

Brave

Smart

Ice Skater

Talented

Silly

Fun

Set it all free sung by Scarlett Johansson

"I followed my heart into the fire
Got burned, got broken down by desire
I tried, I tried but the smoke in my eyes
Left me blurry, blurry and blind
I picked all the pieces up off the ground
I've burned all my fingers but that's gone now
Got the glue in my hands I'm stickin' to the plan
Stickin' to the plan that says "I can"

Do anything at all
I can do anything at all

This is my kiss goodbye
You can stand alone and watch me fly
'Cause nothing's keeping me down gonna let it all up
Come on and say right now, right now, right now
This is my big hello
'Cause I'm giving, never letting go
I can finally see, it's not just a dream
When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free
(Oh oh oh)
(Oh oh oh)
(Oh oh oh)

I was a girl caught under your thumb
But my star's gonna shine brighter than your sun
And I will reach so high,
Shoot so far
Gonna hit, gonna hit, hit every target

Make it count this time
I will make it count this time

This is my kiss goodbye
You can stand alone and watch me fly
'Cause nothing's keeping me down
I'm gonna let it all out
Come on and say right now, right now, right now
This is my big hello
'Cause I'm here and never letting go
I can finally see,
It's not just a dream
When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (oh oh oh)
You set it all free (oh oh oh)
You set it all free (oh oh oh)

This is my kiss goodbye
You can stand alone and watch me fly
'Cause nothing's keeping me down
I'm gonna let it all out
Come on and say right now, right now, right now
This is my big "hello"
'Cause I'm here and never letting go
I can finally see,
It's not just a dream
When you set it all free, all free, all free

You set it all free (oh oh oh)
You set it all free (oh oh oh)
You set it all free (oh oh oh)
You set it all free (oh oh oh)
You set it all free"

I've been improving

Sorry I've been gone so long, I was gone improving myself and moving on with life, but i'm back to tell you how I've progressed and where I'm at now.

Lets start by finishing some things I learned in Therapy....
A lot of things Dean taught me in the last months with him was how to change Brain Pathways which is easier said then done. Here are some things I loved that he said

"No mans better than a bad man" There is better out there and you don't have to give up. NEVER SETTLE
Codependent is like you being in the relationship because you need to be needed.
You trust as it's earned. Trust as much as it's earned.
Be realistic not idealistic.
IS HE WORTHY TO HAVE ME?
Set your bar H I G H

What you think and believe about things creates how you feel and leads to what you do.

1. Identify the belief (that's causing emotion/feeling)
2. Challenge Belief (how is it true)
3. Have positive conversations with yourself on belief
4.Change it.

"is this a ditch to die in?"